I'm here, Alex
by ShinyNewShoes
Summary: She felt a tight, nervous feeling in her stomach. Something didn’t feel right. - - Alex uses magic and goes to the party with Javier. Things do not go as planned.
1. Chapter 1

Hi everyone. This is the first Wizards fanfic I haven attempted. It is going to get quite...serious. "Dark" isn't the right word, but it will deal with issues of an adult nature which some readers (esp. younger ones) might find a bit upsetting, so don't read if you don't think you'll enjoy it. I don't want to upset anyone!

I won't continue this if no one finds the potential story-line interesting, so please review to let me know if you want to read more.

It is based during the events of the movie, near the beginning. None of the "Mom and Dad Never Met" business has gone on. It is a family-centric story with a focus mainly on a Justin/Alex brother-sister relationship and Alex/Theresa. Max and Jerry are featured and probably Harper/Alex later on.

So without further a-do, here is the story.

**"Alex, you are not going to that party and that is final".**

Alex Russo sat down on her hotel-room bed, angry, frustrated and _dying _to go that party. Javier was just so _cute_, why was her mom being so unreasonable? He was a nice guy, he worked at the resort for god's sake! She decided right there and then, in her usual stubborn way, that she was going to go, and that was final. She heard her dad tell her to get ready for dinner, and she made sure to put her cutest top and skirt on. She would just say she felt like…_making an effort. _It would work for sure, right?

A couple of hours later and Alex could hear the party going on down the beach. Her mom looked at her across the table as the family finished off dinner, giving her an "I know what you're thinking" stare.

"I know what you're thinking," said Justin. Stupid know-it-all brother, thought Alex. The family got up and headed off to the room, but Alex lingered behind. Whispering a spell under her breath that would make her family miraculously "OK" with her going to the beach party, her mom turned around, calling out "Have a good time at the party baby. Don't be back too late!"

Alex smiled mischievously, applied some lip gloss and strutted in the direction of the party.

_An hour or so later…_

Alex was having a great time. She had been drinking punch, chatting to some hot staff and dancing with some cool girls a few years older than she was. All of a sudden, Javier came over and started dancing too. He was kind of…forward…but she felt like a new, older, more mature Alex, and she kind of liked it. The punch she had been drinking had started to affect her just a little, and her head swum with golden lights, the sound of the waves and the music and the salty-sweet scent of Javier and she felt a fuzzy, happy feeling, and before she knew it she had been led away by Javier behind a shed where they kept the surf boards and kayaks.

She didn't really want to be alone with him. She wasn't ready for anything like that, not yet, not _here. _She felt a tight, nervous feeling in her stomach. Something didn't feel right.


	2. Chapter 2

OK so this wasn't exactly "fun" to write, let's just say! But I felt it was necessary to use the graphic details so readers would have some "idea" of what Alex is going through.

Thank you to all the people who have reviewed, put this story on Alert or even on their Favourites. That is amazing! THANKS! :D I 3 you all.

So here is the next chapter. I hope you enjoy it.

Alex felt his hand on her hips and a tiny piece of her felt a jolt of fear. There was something…not right. He crushed his lips against hers and she reciprocated just for a second, taken aback, before he shoved his tongue in and she tried to push him off. His hands were firm on her hips and he held her small frame still with ease.

"No…Javier, no…stop now. Please stop." Her voice wasn't loud, but it was tinged with panic. He was acting so…_weird_. He pulled back and his eyes were crazed, wild and his breathing was heavy and fast.

"What's _wrong _with you?! Why are you acting like this?" Alex asked, confused and scared. He shoved her against the shed with a laugh, "I'm so buzzed!" he pronounced, shoving his hand up her top. Alex screamed and he took his hand out, clamping it across her mouth. "Shut up! Shut up Alex." He breathed. She bit his hand and he slapped her across the face so hard her lip split against her teeth and began to bleed. Alex started to cry. She had tried to be brave, but he was hurting her and she was scared and alone and she only knew that she didn't want to die on a beach in a foreign country away from her family, knowing that she had lied and cheated to even be there at the first place.

The idea to do a spell crossed her mind briefly in between him sliding his hand up her skirt and pushing his tongue into her mouth again, but she couldn't gather her thoughts fast enough to even think of what to do. She tried pummelling his chest, fighting back as best as she could, but he was so strong, and she was so little, and before she knew it he had got what he wanted, pushing her back against the shed with each thrust so hard it took her breath away and she could _feel _the bruises forming on her spine. Tears streamed down her face and she struggled to breathe, with his hand over her mouth hard enough to leave bruises. He shoved her again, hardest, moaning and stopped, his head resting on her neck, breathing hot and wet on her ear. She cried out loud, her legs buckling completely when he moved away from her, laughing maniacally again and suddenly sprinting away down the beach. Alex curled into a ball, crying into the sand, blood coming from her mouth and running down her legs. He had taken everything from her, and it was all her own fault. She cried for a few minutes, before shakily standing up and leaning against the shed, her forehead against the cool painted sides as she tried to compose herself. She moved away unsteadily, walking a few yards before she had to lean against a palm tree and throw up. She wiped her mouth, and wrapped her arms round herself before walking onwards.

A few minutes later, Alex opened her hotel room door with shaking hands and prayed her brothers would be asleep. She walked in, holding her breath so they wouldn't hear the muffled sobs coming from her mouth, and stood at the foot of her bed weighing up whether she was going to be sick again or if she should take a shower. She was about to turn and go into the bathroom when the lamp turned on and Justin, sitting up sleepily, looked at her. His eyes widened with horror at the sight of his sister – blood all over her legs and face, bruises forming on her cheeks, arms and legs, her skirt torn.

Alex stood there, frozen to the spot, staring back at Justin with a panicked look on her face.

"Alex, oh my god! What happened? What happened to you??" Justin was filled with worry, and he slowly began to get out of bed to approach her.

Alex tried to speak - "I…I was…the beach…I…" she stammered, before breaking down into painful cries, her legs giving way again as she put her hand over her mouth to try and quiet herself. Justin moved swiftly, getting to his sister before she hit the floor. She resisted him at first, holding herself stiffly as he awkwardly held her up, but he spoke to her quietly "Alex, shh, it's OK, I'm here. I'm here Alex," he whisper-spoke, and she threw her arms round him, crying louder and burying her head in his shirt, grabbing handfuls of it as she pressed herself into his familiar smell and strength and safety.

Justin stroked his little sister's hair out of her face, holding her tight.

His face twisted in anger, and he promised himself he would find out who did this, and whether he used magic and broke the rules or not, he would make them feel the same pain his little sister was feeling.


	3. Chapter 3

_WOW, I have had some amazing reviews for this story. I don't feel "good" about what I'm putting Alex through, but I am in a way enjoying writing this story. I understand it is a sensitive subject and people have different feelings about it, but I hope people continue to enjoy reading it. Thank you EVERYONE who has read and reviewed. And to "impeccableblahs" and "kittenkinks" thank you for the well-worded, fantastic reviews! And to "ConfusifyingCristy", I completely agree, no one deserves to go through this type of pain. _

_Here is the next chapter, I hope you enjoy it. Please review!_

"Alex? Justin?" a small, worried voice asked. Justin looked round and saw Max stood behind them, looking sleepy and scared. Justin was lost for words, looking from his sobbing sister to his scared brother, feeling totally responsible for them both, and totally unprepared to be so.

"Um, Max, um…Alex got…she got…she got hurt, but she's going to be OK. You have to help me get her onto the bed OK?" Justin reasoned.

Max nodded and went to the other side of his sister, the two boys pulling her up, Justin doing most of the work and directing her to the bed where she sat stiffly, shivering, her hands trying to vainly cover up the torn skirt and blood on her thighs.

"Why are you bleeding?!" Max asked, panicked. "Did you get cut?"

Alex shook her head and looked up at Max, but her bruised face panicked him even more and he started crying.

"No, no," He said, backing away from her towards the door. "Alex, what happened? Why do you look like this? Why are you crying?"

Alex whispered hoarsely, "Maxie, Maxie it's OK. It's OK. Don't be upset."

Justin stood awkwardly, not knowing what to do with himself. He saw how Alex was sitting and with a thought for her dignity he grabbed a blanket and wrapped it round her. She went to lie down but she winced in pain, so he helped her, and she lay on her side wrapped in the blanket, her eyes wide and staring, breathing shallowly.

"Justin? Alex? What's going on?" the sound of their dad's voice reverberated through the room. Justin turned to face his dad, opening his mouth to speak, but not before his dad saw Alex and how she was lay on the bed. "Alex? Honey?" his dad asked. Alex began to sit up, although she kept her head down, not looking at her father.

"I had to get them!" Max said, looking up at Justin, who obviously hadn't even had a thought for his mother and father next door. "Alex is hurt!"

Jerry looked at Justin, confused, silently asking for an explanation.

"Dad, she…I don't know what happened, she came back a few minutes ago and she was like this all banged up….I…" Justin's voice choked up and he turned, slamming his hands against the wall before sitting on the other bed and starting to cry. He was angry - with himself for being so hopeless and not knowing what to do to help his baby sister, and with whoever did this to her.

As Jerry inched towards Alex, it was like he was afraid of what he might find. Max was crying. _Justin _was crying. There was an almost palpable feeling of dread and loss and fear hanging in the atmosphere, and as he went to place an uncertain hand on his daughter's shoulder, Jerry felt as though she was very far away. She was sat up with her knees tucked into her chest, her head down on her kneecaps but her brown eyes peering up and out from under her messy black hair, staring straight ahead at nothing and no-one, void of emotion and glassy with tears. It was as though Alex wasn't in there any more. Jerry couldn't even begin to process anything, his brain was a mess of confusion and anxiety, and he placed his hand finally down on his daughter's shoulder and said gently "Alex, honey, what's the matter?" it was as though he wasn't there at all.

"Dad…she's been…I think…" Justin couldn't bring himself to say _it,_ that word he only saw on PSA's and on the news, normally associated with girls found dead, strangled in the woods, picked up on their way home, cornered in the subway; not his little, sarcastic, clever, beautiful _Alex._ He seethed quietly, his hands on Max's shoulders protectively, as if he were substituting the protection he should have given his sister with shielding his brother from the painful reality of what had happened. Max was just a kid, he didn't know the realities of the world, how cruel and unkind it could be. Truthfully, Justin hadn't thought the world could be quite so unfair, so punishing, until Alex had walked in a few minutes ago and brought their comfortable little world crashing down around them. He wanted to pick Alex up and fly her away somehow, to a place where everything was bright and nice and cheerful and nobody got hurt or lost, and monsters didn't exist. He had told her once, when she was 8 and he was 10, and he was a big, grown-up, _double-figures_ boy and she was still _such a baby, _and she had come into his bedroom dragging her teddy behind her, crying because she was just _sure _that there was a horrible, scary monster under her bed, that he would always protect her from the monsters, the nasty things that came out at night, and he had hugged her and kissed her forehead and made her promise not to tell anyone he had done so. She had smiled, and curled up beside him in his racing-car bed and fallen asleep there until their mom had come in and carried her into her own bed.

He hadn't protected her, and she had been broken like a doll someone played with and didn't want anymore. Justin wanted one thing more than revenge. He wanted to _fix her. _


	4. Chapter 4

Hey everyone! Thank you so so so much for the fantastic reviews. I appreciate them all sooo much. I am sorry this update is late. Someone in my close family passed away a couple of days ago so I've had some stuff goin' on…but things are going good and writing is definitely a way to stay sane! ;) I am so glad you are all really feeling the emotions in this story. That is what I really wanted out of it 

I would love it if you continued to review, and if you've just started reading this story PLEASE PLEASE click that button and send a review! I would appreciate any input you guys have on this story and where you would possibly like to see it go.

So, I shall shut up now, and here are the two newest chapters – Four and Five.

"_What_ is going on in here?!"

Theresa had entered the room from next door, and she stood by her sons tentatively, looking puzzled, over at Jerry who was knelt besides Alex's bed.

He took his hand from his daughter's shoulder, and glanced at his wife with a look of pure fear on his face. He got up, sitting on Max's empty bed, not daring to speak, hardly daring to breathe.

ThenTheresa saw Justin and Max, both of them crying.

"Boys?" she asked, confused, increasingly worried, before walking over to her daughter.

"Alex, baby?" she inquired softly, sitting on the bed.

Alex sat up with her forehead resting on her knees. Theresa reached out and took one of Alex's hands, her own eyes filling with tears. She had never, ever seen her daughter like this. Alex turned her head away, a sob escaping, and before she knew she was crying uncontrollably again.

Jerry stood up and backed away. Something was pulsing through his veins hot and fast, from the soles of his feet to the top of his head – _anger_. He couldn't cope with this, what his daughter, his _child_, was going through. He was a good dad, a hands-on dad, always there with a hug or a piece of advice if they wanted it – and these days they rarely did – but this, this was out if his league. He hadn't seen Alex cry since she was about 12, she was always so strong, so resilient, his "tough cookie", and whilst she might not be the best-behaved or highest-achieving of his kids, she was _his_ adorable, smart (and smart mouthed), unique, capricious daughter. He didn't want to even _think_ about what had been done to her. No father should have to run through his mind what might have happened to his little girl, yet here he was, looking at her bruised and bloodied face and torn clothes and he couldn't help it. Theresa turned and looked at him pointedly, and he snapped out of the trance he was in.

"Boys, come on, outside. Come on Maxie." Jerry said, reaching out to grab Max who was staring, open-mouthed, shocked, at his sister.

His sister was strong, funny…she didn't cry, she didn't let anything get to her…she was kind of the coolest person he knew, even if he would never tell her that. He wanted to hug her like she hugged him whenever he was sick or worried about something, but she looked like she never wanted anyone to touch her ever again.

Jerry put his hand on Justin and Max's shoulder, steering them next door, leaving Theresa with Alex.

Her mom would be able to get through to her. Perhaps, she would understand, just a little bit. Perhaps.

"Look at me honey." Theresa said gently. But Alex turned her head away, putting it down on her knees and throwing her arm around her legs so her mother couldn't see her face.

"Alex. Alex, look at me. Look at your mom. It's OK sweetie." Theresa pleaded with her daughter.

The small, dark-headed figure didn't move.

"Alexandra!" Theresa demanded finally, using the rarely used full-name, desperation in her voice, shriller than before from worry, anxiety, fear. Alex looked up, at last, and Theresa gasped inwardly at the sight of the bruises. The cut lip, the blood on her beautiful little girl's face…now she was reaching out to touch her.

Alex closed her eyes, her breathing ragged, digging her nails into her palms as a sort of strange distraction. She felt her mother's hand on her cheek and didn't want it there. It scared her.

The fact that it scared her scared her.

"Mommy…I went to the party…I used magic and I went and he hurt me. I told him to stop but he wouldn't." The words tumbled out, and Alex crumpled into her mother's arms, her whole broken body wracking with sobs. Theresa's face fell, although she'd be lying if she hadn't seen it coming.

"I know, baby, I know. It's OK. It's not your fault."

It was all she could say, repeating it over and over like a mantra. There was so much Theresa could say to Alex, to the world, and yet so little, because nothing could turn back time or make this better. She was powerless. Unable to stick a sparkly Band-Aid on the wound and turn Alex's tears into laughter, unable to write a note to the teacher and make the bad stuff go away.

"It's OK baby girl. It's OK."

They both knew it wasn't.


	5. Chapter 5

Hello! Please read the little intro comment at the start of CHAPTER 4! I am uploading two chapters today.

_Please, review!_

Justin stood, silent, brooding, in the corner of the small hospital room. His sister had been here for _hours._ He had carried her in himself, as she clung on to him desperately, crying for him when he had to put her down on a stretcher and watch her be wheeled away.

"_Don't leave me Justin! Justin, please…" _

He couldn't forget her face as she looked back at him, frightened, not knowing where or what was next. In America, he wondered, perhaps when you took a victim to the hospital it would be like that TV show he sometimes watched, and a nice doctor would be kind to you and explain everything that was happening in plain English, so that you understood. But here, it was a mess – nurses busied around Alex, babbling in Spanish that was too fast for her to ever understand. Maybe they treated 16-yr olds who had been raped like any other patient.

_Maybe they shouldn't_, thought Justin viciously. Theresa ran after Alex of course, she was allowed to go in the room with her, but Justin stood, caught up in the rush, a stock-still figure in the waiting room. He heard nothing for a while, then her cries again, from down the hall.

"_No! No I don't want to! Please, Mom, don't let them, I don't want it. Please!" _

She was begging. They wanted to examine her. Touch her in places she didn't want to be touched, take evidence with their metal instruments as she lay on a cold table. He heard his mom argue in Spanish, the voices growing heated.

God, did no-one speak English here? He thought. Alex never cared to learn Spanish. She pronounced "Hola" with an "H" at the start.

She wouldn't have a clue what they were saying.

Justin was suddenly overcome with a feeling of intense protection towards his sister. He ran down the corridor, bursting into the room and seeing a nurse trying to get one of Alex's legs into one of those stirrup-like contraptions. It was like a nightmare. His mom was almost crying, frustrated, trying to get through to both her daughter - who needed medical attention desperately – and to the two nurses who were attempting to examine her in the least sympathetic way possible.

"Just _STOP!_" Justin yelled. He breathed heavily, angrily, and the nurses put down whatever they were holding, and let go of Alex. His mom looked at him, eyes wide, as if she was realising what she was doing, and that what she _should _be doing was telling the nurses how it was going to be, not trying to reason so unsuccessfully with them.

The only sound in the room was Alex's muffled sobs.

He strode over to his sister, being more of a man than he had ever been, wrapping his arms protectively around her, tight, and for the second time that night she buried her face in his shirt, grabbing at him with everything she had, and he put his hand on the back of her head, feeling her soft hair beneath his fingers, and just let her cry.

And now, several hours later, and Theresa was sat by her daughter's bed side, idly stroking her forehead and humming an old lullaby as she drifted into a drug-induced sleep. They had found an American doctor, a young woman from Atlanta who was working out there straight from med school. She spoke to Alex as an equal, calmed her down, promised her that _everything was going to be alright. _

She had _had _to carry out the necessary tests, it was inevitable. Alex held her mom's hand, tight, during the examination, trying to hold on to what last shred of dignity she seemed to have left. She had antibiotics, the morning-after-pill, blood tests. Then they had let her take a shower, and her mom helped her get undressed and wash all traces of _him _away. She washed her hair five times, and they had both cried when they saw the horrible bruises, shaped exactly like his _hands_ on her stomach and hips, saw the dried blood wash away down the drain, and by the time it was over Alex stood dumbly, no more tears left, staring ahead as her mom dried her off and dressed her in pyjamas, brushed her hair, folded the towels neatly, talked about a couple of irrelevant things.

_What's the point? _Was the only thought running through Alex's mind.

The doctor came back to give Alex some painkillers, and she gulped the glass of water down so greedily Justin went off to buy her a bottle. When he came back, the doctor had given her the sedative shot already, _to help her get some rest, _she said, and he helped his sister drink some more as she grew drowsier and drowsier.

It seemed surreal, holding a bottle of water to his little sister's mouth as if she were a baby or something, but it was strange, Justin thought, how quickly you can get used to something. Alex wasn't Alex, not the Alex they knew, and maybe she wouldn't be for a long time, but as she laid her head down, smiling up at him gratefully in the fog of the sedative as her eyes began to close, he let himself believe, just for a split-second, that when she woke up, she would have forgotten everything.


	6. Chapter 6

Hello to anybody reading this : ) I decided to update as soon as I could because I got some incredible reviews for the last updates and I just really wanted to get this out there for those people who are awesome enough to be following this story. THANK YOU FOR READING, reviewing, adding to your alerts and favourites. I have had a really rough few days and you have no idea how much a good review for this story can cheer me up, hehe! ANYWAY. I already had this chapter written but after this I am free-wheeling, so I need ideas. There has been a lot of crying, in this story and in real life at the moment, and I am getting sick of tears! The next chapter (7) is going to be centred around Alex's anger because it's a natural reaction, first is the shock and hysteria, then anger sets in before she can really deal with it. So if you have any ideas or suggestions I would love to hear them. I would like to thank my big brother and sister in real life for being the best ever and inspiring many aspects of this story.

: D so without any more chatter here is chapter 6.

Jerry and Max had stayed at the hotel. Alex didn't need everyone there, crowding her, and it wasn't fair on Max to make him wait for hours in a boring waiting room.

Jerry had tried to make Max understand what had happened: a man had hurt Alex, a sick, horrible, twisted man.

Max had asked why. Jerry had simply said that sometimes men force girls to do things with them that they don't want to do.

_Like have sex with them? _Max asked.

Jerry was taken aback, but Max was right to ask questions like that. He was old enough to understand what was going on and he was old enough to get what his sister was going through. Max had nodded thoughtfully, and then been very quiet for a while. He had finally fallen asleep, and that's when he called Justin.

"_I'm still at the hospital. She's ok. They've given her a sedative and I'm staying until she wakes up." _

"_That could be hours Justin. You sure you don't want to come back for a while?"_

"_No, Dad. I'm staying. Until she wakes up."_

"_You're a good man Justin."_

Whilst Theresa dozed in a chair by Alex's bed, and Alex slept a dreamless sleep in the hospital bed, Justin snuck outside and pulled his spellbook from his back pocket. No one had seen him take it, but he had thought to bring it, because he wanted to know if there was anything in his power he could do to make his sister just _forget _the horror she had been through.

As he read, it seemed that most spells to make people forget things were temporary, or that the person would begin to remember things later on in ever increasing detail. He briefly considered the "do over" spell Alex had used on him when he had failed to kiss Miranda, but it was too large of an expanse of time to go back on, and how would he know exactly how to stop the attack happening?

The last thing he wanted was for this to happen _again. _He didn't think Alex could survive it if it happened all over. He didn't know if he, or his family, could either.

He closed the book, his eyes drooping with tiredness, and he frustratedly tried to keep awake. He walked up and down the entrance to the hospital, the Caribbean morning sun golden and bright on the horizon and he wondered how something so terrible could have occurred in a place so beautiful, and he finally sat down on a bench, leant his back against the wall and let himself sleep for a few minutes.

When he woke up, Theresa was stood over him, shaking his shoulder gently. "Justin, Justin," she repeated.

He woke with a start. "Uh, what time is it?" he asked, panicked. His neck was stiff where he had been sleeping upright, but he jumped up, facing his mom.

"It's 8am. You've only been out for an hour or so. Justin, go back to the hotel. The doctor said she's going to be under for a good few hours, maybe until lunch time. She needs it, god bless her. So go back, get some rest. I'll stay." Theresa said.

But Justin didn't want to leave, and he told his mom so. In the end, Theresa ended up going back to the hotel to get some rest, get Max and Jerry and bring some food back for everyone. Justin got a coffee, paced the halls some more, read a magazine and finally fell asleep on the chair beside Alex's bed, with his head resting on his hand, which in turn gripped hers.

"J-Justin? Justin? Ow…" Alex's voice was small and hoarse. She tried to move but her back was _killing _her, and she ached from the inside out. Justin woke up suddenly, lifting his head from the bed and looking at his sister.

"Oh, hey Alex." He said sleepily. "How are you feeling?"

She blinked and tried to weigh up exactly how she _was _feeling. "OK. Sore." She said.

"Do you want anything? A drink or anything?" Justin asked. He didn't know what to do for his sister at all. Make her as comfortable as he could, until she really wanted his help? Ask her if she remembered anything?

"No, I'm good. Where's mom? Where's dad and Max?" She asked. She sounded more panicked, more unsettled than before. Justin sat on the edge of the bed, and stroked her hair out of her face.

"They're coming soon, I promise. Mom's getting some food for us, and Dad stayed with Max. Alex, do you remember what happened last night?" Justin asked, gently, taking her hand.

Alex frowned and looked confused for a second, and then a single tear rolled down her cheek. She closed her eyes another tear came, then more and more until her chest heaved up and down, and turned on her side away from him, curling up self-protectively, sobbing now.

"No, Alex, it's OK. It's OK." Justin rushed around to her, kneeling down so he could see her face. He put a hand on her cheek, but she flinched away.

"How can you even look at me?!" She half-yelled, half-sobbed.

"Do you even know what he did to me? I'm just a stupid, weak little girl! I just let it happen. How can you stand to _look _at me?"

Justin was taken aback. He stood up; he didn't know what to do. She was crying. Again. It was like she was never going to stop. "Calm down, Alex!" he said. "Come on, it's OK, I'm here. _Stop_."

Finally, he grabbed Alex by the shoulders and pulled her up and into him, trying desperately to calm her. She shoved him away.

"No Justin, please. Just stop being nice to me. I used magic when I shouldn't and all of this is my fault so just go away." She sobbed bitterly.

"Alex, come on, it's not your fault" He tried to comfort her; he wanted her to just realise that what this person had done to her wasn't her fault.

"I promise you it'll be OK. Everything will be OK again. It's not your fault. I'm not going to leave you on your own ever again."

She relaxed in his arms, small and vulnerable and child-like. Her sobbing ceased after a few more seconds, and she looked up at him, eyes big and round and haunted.

"Nothing", she said, swallowing her tears, "Is going to be OK again."

Alex untangled herself from her brother, and turned away, resting her head against the bank of pillows behind her. She didn't close her eyes, didn't cry, didn't make a sound.

She shut herself off – from Justin, from the hospital, from the world around her.

She didn't want anyone near her, as much as she knew that her mom was trying her best to keep things together and take care of her because that was her _job, _and her daddy, well he was her daddy, what was he supposed to do when all he wanted to do was kill the man who had done this? And there was Max, her sweet little Maxie, who was so grown up now and probably knew exactly what had gone down and would never look at her with innocent eyes again.

She swallowed back the lump in her throat and furiously wiped a tear from her cheek.

Maybe, she thought, if she acted as though there was nothing underneath the surface: no feeling; no emotion; no deep-set scars on her psyche, then there really wouldn't be, and they would disappear into the black. Maybe.

But there was one person who she knew would look right through her and see the hurt and pain and be there to help her no matter how much she pushed them away. And he was on his knees, his eyes searching hers, desperately wanting to help her in the way only he could even when she had shut him out so completely, and she reached her hand out, his warm fingers finding hers and holding on, because he needed her as much as she needed him, even it she would never know it, and he could never, _ever _let her go again.


	7. Chapter 7

Hi everyone :) I am so sorry for the late update. I have had a lot of family stuff going on, but things are finally getting back to normal.

Thank you to everyone who has put this on their Alerts/Faves/Reviewed it. It means SO MUCH that you would take your time out of your day to not only read but then type out a review. Please continue to let me know what you think and if you have any ideas for where this is going. One thing I am struggling with is that the logical thing would be for the Russo's to report this to the police, but I don't want the story to become completely taken over by the criminal justice side of things. If any of you had any ideas regarding that it would be awesome.

Thanks so much and again PLEASE REVIEW!

Here is chapter 7.

It was dark. The kind of dark where you can't see anything and you wonder whether your eyes are open or shut. Alex felt in front of her for something, anything, to grab on to, familiarity, safety, but found nothing. She turned around in the pitch-blackness and suddenly, lit up in the darkness like a devil in the night was _his face. _

Javier.

Alex backed away blindly, fumbling feet tripping over each other and she seemed to be standing in what felt like sand. The beach. _That _beach.

"No...I won't let you do this! Not again. Not again." Alex's voice was scared, small.

Smaller than she wanted it to be.

She wanted to be a tiger and roar, scream at him for all she was worth, kick out and claw at him until he was bleeding on the floor, the way he had left her.

Suddenly her sandalled feet clumsily entangled in one another and she lost balance, going down, down and further down until she felt she was going right through the sand and into hell itself. She opened her mouth and screamed, and right before she thought she saw the flames she woke up and saw a fluorescent light, felt the scratch of a blanket against her legs, and felt her mother's cool hand on her clammy forehead. She breathed quickly, shallowly, trying to catch her breath, trying to sit up, trying to make sense of the dream, the room, _everything. _

"What….where am I? Who…?" Alex was confused.

Theresa ran her thumb across her daughter's forehead and tried to quieten her.

"The doctor gave you some more drugs to help you sleep. You needed it, to get better. You're still in the hospital and you've been out for twelve hours. It's OK, your dad is here and your brothers are back at the hotel packing. We're taking you home."

"What…you mean she just gave me medicine and made me fall asleep to help me get _better?_ You think it's going to help me get better, dreaming about all of this, seeing his face everytime I close my eyes?! You can't just make me sleep and pretend when I wake up everything will be fine!" Alex's voice was thick with angry tears.

Theresa looked confused, but before she could form a sentence of reply, Alex got out of the bed she had been confined to for the past 36 hours and, folding her arms protectively across herself, stormed out of the room and into the corridor beyond, walking wherever her bare feet took her. She heard her mother's voice behind her, calling out, half-despairing, half-annoyed.

She knew what her mom was thinking, she could see it in her eyes: _there she goes, that little girl with no innocence left, how can she ever be the same again? Poor thing._

It angered Alex. It really did anger her, the pity and sympathy she saw in her mother's face. She didn't _want _sympathy. She didn't want everyone to tiptoe around her and try and pretend nothing had happened. She didn't want them constantly asking if she was "OK" but never actually asking her how she felt, what she was thinking, if she wanted to talk about it. She didn't want their hushed voices in the next room, discussing her, but never facing up to what had really happened to her.

Alex shuddered at the thought of school, of Harper, of going back to New York. Her mother would tell a few people, in that closemouthed, vague way mother's spoke about such incidents, and they would look at her with soft, sympathetic eyes and say behind her back "That poor girl. So sad what happened to her."

And it made Alex want to scream out, to stand before them and say "I'm right here! I survived!" because she _did _and here she was in the hospital, barefooted and looking younger and more vulnerable than ever before, but alive, and prepared to fight.

And despite the cuts and bruises on her face, the marks on her body, she wanted to show her mom, her dad, her brothers, that one day she would be the Alex Russo she once was, not merely a shell of the happy and confident girl that had gone to the party on the beach and never come back.

But then she looked up, and she looked into the face of someone that would make it very hard for her to be that old Alex again. And she was sure she wasn't dreaming, but she felt immobile, as if her feet were held to the floor by pure fear.

No, no. She wasn't dreaming. She was awake and this was real.

_Javier. _


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello! Thank you everyone who has reviewed/favourited. I love hearing your input. This chapter is going to be the last in the hospital. The next one will deal with the police side of things, or begin to, and the one after that is about Harper and Alex. **

**PLEASE REVIEW! thank you for reading :)**

**No more talking; here is the chapter...**

Alex stood there, her mouth open in shock, eyes wide and terrified, her breathing suddenly rapid. She felt like her chest was being compressed until she couldn't get any air in or out, and she breathed quicker, shallower; trying to just keep oxygen flowing to her confused brain.

It was _him._ One sight of his face, his tanned skin and that sleazy white grin, and she was transported back. Back to her body being pushed against that white painted shed, back to the feeling of his hand up her skirt, snaking into places she never wanted it to go. The defiant attitude of just a few moments ago was gone, replaced with a numbing fear creeping through her like a paralysis.

"Alex, what happened between us…you know I was really out of it…"

His voice was quiet, almost a hissed whisper, and he moved toward her with a hand outstretched and she realised with horror that he was going try and grab her or do something to make her listen to him. She was filled with panic and dread. Even though it was totally irrational of her to think that he might attempt something in a hospital filled with people and her mom just down the hall didn't make her feel any better. Fear is not rational, and instincts are rarely wrong.

Then Alex heard a voice, a familiar one. She looked up. It was Justin.

Her saviour.

"What…what is this? It was _you?" _Justin's voice was a mixture of disgust and disbelief as he looked towards Javier, who had stopped dead in his tracks, shock in his eyes, not expecting anyone to interrupt his plan, nevermind basically hear a _confession._

"Justin." Alex's voice came out as a sob, of relief and of gratitude, and he was at her side in an instant, his arms around her, letting her hide her face from the monster that she was confronting. He held her for only a moment, and then pushed her behind him. "Go back to the room Alex. I'm telling you baby, go back."

She moved reluctantly away from him, wiping her eyes on her sleeve like a small child, full of apprehension and worry. Taking a few steps back she saw Justin aprubtly _launch _himself at Javier, and she instinctively cried out his name.

Justin had Javier against a wall, their face centimetres apart. "You sick motherfucker! How could you do that to her, she's practically a _child._" Justin spat the words out, and despite his lack of physical prowess (or any sort of experience of confrontation, for that matter,) he pulled his fist back and slammed it into Javier's face. His breath was ragged, his whole body shaking with rage and adrenaline. Alex was terrified. She couldn't let him do this.

"Justin, please stop this! He's not worth it!" She called out desperately. Alex was torn between running to get help, and trying to separate them herself, but the thought of going _near _that animal Javier made her want to vomit, so she hung back, tears forming in her eyes again, wanting her brother away from him and holding her.

But Justin wasn't relenting, and she watched Javier shove him hard, the same aggression in his face as when he had shoved _her_, then gone on to hurt her in ways Justin would never have to understand.

"Justin!" It was her dad's voice. Alex barely had time to realise that he was there before he was pulling his son away by the scruff of his neck, yelling at him to calm down and get a grip.

"But it was him, Dad! He hurt her! How can you not want to kill him?" Justin's voice cracked, it was whiny like a little kid who really wanted a toy in the toystore but whose dad was dragging them away from it.

Jerry's face was ashen. Him…it was _him_? The windsurfing guy? He had no clue what to think or what to do. He couldn't just let him go? But Alex was stood right there, and as he held onto Justin's arm he turned and saw her face, how her big brown eyes stared at the man opposite her, full of absolute terror and how she held her arms around herself protectively. His Alex would throw herself into a fight, try to help her brother. Hell, she'd probably do better than him. But that was _before _Alex, and this was_ after_. She was so tiny and delicate-looking standing there in purple-checked pyjama pants and bare feet, her hair curly and wild around her face like when she was little and doll-like and averse to hairbrushes. She was absolutely beautiful, even now. How anyone would want to corrupt that he would never know, but he didn't want to expose her to anything more. He just looked at Javier, hoping the hatred in his eyes would be enough of a warning. Then he patted Justin's shoulder, telling him to come on.

"Get your sister."

And Justin took her by the hand, letting her put her head on his shoulder as they walked. She didn't know what would be next in this nightmarish rollercoaster ride she was on, but she knew that with Justin there to hold her hand, she might, just _might, _be alright. She had a long way to go, but she had him. He wouldn't ever give up on her.


	9. Chapter 9

_Hello readers :) If you are still reading this story then THANK YOU sososo much! I am truly sorry for the late update, school finally started for me this past week (yes, extremely late) and I have had homework and activities and dance and all sorts of things to catch up on, but on a lighter note I have fully planned my story out now, chapter by chapter so I know what is going to happen and I would say there are between 6 to 8 more chapters to go so please keep reading and reviewing. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed especially those who give really insightful, helpful ones, it means so much and I adore reading them. Please keep reviewing! I want to reach 100 reviews soon! Hehe. Anyway, I am sorry if this chapter is a bit action-less, it's just the point the story is at. I am writing the next chapter at the moment and it is more "interesting" and "action-y", but this feels right for the story right now. A new chapter will be up by the end of the weekend. Thank you so much REVIEW. x_

"_Alexandra, you say you were a virgin before this happened? You had no sexual partners or encounters?"_

The question whirled around and around in Alex's head, her eyes staring blankly ahead at the wall opposite as if she were trying to absorb the dull greyness and replace the pain in her head with nothing but colourless matter.

Of course. Of course she had been a virgin. _Had been._

She didn't act like sex was a big deal – _"Sex, pfft. Whatever."_ – but to Alex, the girl who secretly loved to cuddle and secretly just wanted to be loved for who she was, sex was a _huge _deal. She had barely even kissed a boy properly, remembering now fondly not that long ago when she had gone to extreme lengths to avoid Dean's "kissing corner". She didn't feel ready, and she didn't feel like she was quite prepared to be one of those girls who stood in the corner, kissing their boy, enjoying his touch, confident. She was still a Sophomore – well, almost a Junior now, if she could ever find a way to make going back to school OK again – and she wanted to cling onto that one thing left before she was grown up and fully-fledged and all those other scary things that came with responsibilities. She wanted to go to college and have fun with guys and try new things, not be some seasoned professional by the time she turned 17.

It had all seemed so…so _fine _in her head. She was going to wait, and that was that. In old Alex's head, Alex from a week or so ago's head, when "ruining her life" was not being allowed to go to a party, she had made her mind up and nothing could stop her.

But now… now she had tried to grow up too fast, tried to be someone she wasn't, and she'd used magic _– again _– and it had all come undone. She would never, ever be able to be close to a boy again, let him kiss her, let him touch her. She would never be an ordinary teenager, and that little fact made her want to curl up in a ball and stay away from the world, from all the normal, carefree, obnoxious little girls who she would have to look at every single day and know, just _know, _that she would never again be like them.

"Miss Russo? _Miss Russo?_" A voice, one of the police officers, their voice kind but with a hint of irritation that doesn't go unnoticed, tries to get Alex's attention.

"Huh? Oh, um, yeah. Sorry. What was the question?" Alex's voice is quiet, soft, distracted. She looks up, her unfocused eyes now locking on the woman's face opposite her. She is wearing a police uniform, about 30 years old, light brown hair tied back in a bun. She looks…unfeeling, Alex decides.

She would have normally expected a young, female officer to be the most sympathetic, to have some idea of what the girl opposite her might be going through. Obviously not. Maybe she hadn't much experience. Maybe she was just a cold-hearted bitch. Maybe she just simply didn't _care _about Alex, about this teenager from America who had _apparently _been raped by a young guy, a local, at a fancy resort where she was partying, drinking, flirting…_asking for it. _

Alex summised it was probably a little of all three.

"I said, had you had any sexual encounters before this incident?"

"No! I was…a virgin. I was saving myself. Until the right guy came along, I mean." Alex was quick to make her point.

"OK. But this wasn't the "right guy"? You thought he was cute, no?" The police officer asked inquiringly. Alex was horrified. She knew what this woman was insinuating, and she didn't like it.

"No, no way. I mean, yeah, at first when I first met him I thought he was kind of cute. But now…I mean, I didn't want to…I told him no!" Alex's voice was breaking, cracking, a few tears of frustration dripped down onto her pale cheeks. She put her hands over her face for a few seconds, crying, angry, outraged, feeling like she was being blamed for all of this, feeling poweless once again and scared too. She thought the police would be on her side – would be there to protect her, and other girls. She hadn't _wanted _to talk to them, but her mom and dad…they were so broken by this, she hated the look in her dad's eyes when he looked at her, when he had looked at Javier.

Her mother couldn't understand why she didn't want to talk, when he could so easily just repeat his actions next week, next month, on every cute and naïve girl he saw at the hotel. He might have already hurt other girls, and they had kept their mouths shut and now…it had been Alex's turn. Teresa had squeezed her hand tight, saying she would be fine, that the police just want a statement, that they would be nice to her, that it _wasn't her fault. _How many times had she heard that? How many times would it take for her to believe it?

"OK, I think we can take a break. I'm sorry, Alexandra, I didn't mean to upset you. We have to ask these questions. You have to see these allegations are very serious, and some girls, they _do _lie about this sort of thing. I'm going to work very hard on your case. You deserve that much." The police officer held the door open for Alex and as she walked out, she stopped and smiled, a tiny smile, at the officer.

"Thank you." Alex said simply. Honestly. She was thankful to hear that, and surprised too. But then people do have a way of surprising us sometimes, and Alex had learnt that all too well in the worst of ways. But this was a better way, and in some small way, a minute piece of her broken-up heart healed itself.

She carried on walking out into the corridor, where her mom and dad sat waiting. Taking a deep breath and blowing it out slowly, she sat next to her dad and felt him pat her on the knee. "How'd it go kiddo?" he asked, in his trying-to-act-normal voice.

"Fine. Rough, but, how else was it going to be?" Alex replied.

"Yeah. I guess. I'm sorry honey." Jerry took a swig of his coffee. What was he supposed to say? He couldn't just make this all go away and he couldn't quite handle that, so he tried to act normal, as normal as he could, to kid himself, and perhaps his wife too, that everything was OK.

"You're doing the right thing sweetie. I'm proud of you." Teresa rubbed Alex's arm, smiling at her girl, her baby.

"I know. Not like me to do the right thing is it?" Alex joked half-heartedly. Her mom laughed quietly, linking her fingers with Alex's.

"You'll be OK, you know? You're stronger than you think." Teresa spontaneously told her. Her voice was hushed, as if she didn't want Jerry to hear. There were tears in her eyes all of a sudden and for some reason it made a lump form in Alex's throat.

"I'm trying. I'm trying." She whispered it, a tear slipping down her cheek and falling on their interlocked hands.

And she was. She was trying her very hardest.


	10. Chapter 10

_HI. This is my longest chapter ever. I should be doing homework, but this is waaay more important! Haha. I really loved writing this chapter. I hope it's OK. I'm really sorry for any mistakes in spelling or grammar or any of that stuff, I do NOT have a spellcheck/grammar check function on my computer so it's all done by proofreading, and well, it's almost 4am, i'm tired! _

_PLEASE REVIEW._

_x_

The past two days had been a whirlwind. Alex had dealt with the police, given her statement and finally been told that they would use the physical evidence coupled with her statement and allegation and "work on her case". Ha. Although she believed that police officer when she said she would work hard on it, Alex squirmed at the idea of them being sat in a room, looking at photograph's of her battered, bare body, at the polaroids of her tear-streaked, bruised face and black-and-blue back. It made her _cringe _to think about how total strangers might look at them, what they would think, whether they would think about the girl in them, or if if didn't affect them at all.

And now, they were on a plane, flying somewhere over the South, and as she stared out of the window at the clouds and blue sky, somewhere far below people carried on their lives, unassuming, immersed in their own little worlds, and she suddenly feltvery small and insignificant. After all, what was one girl to the world? Just a speck of dust in the vast expanse that is the universe. What happened to her, what _had _happened to her, was infinitesimal. The _grand scheme_. She was a tiny cog that had stopped turning – the rest of the machine would carry on without her.

"Alex? Did you hear a word I just said?" Justin shook her arm gently. He was sat next to her, with Max next to him, and their mom and dad were behind. Teresa had originally insisted that Alex sat next to her, so she could keep "an eye" on her, but after Alex complained and said she didn't want to be babysat, she let her sit next to the window, next to her big brother. It was where she felt safest, and right now, that was what she needed. She liked the feeling of having him next to her, and she liked that it was OK for her to reach out and hold his hand if she felt like it. She liked that if she felt sad, or like she might cry for no reason at all, then he would be there and he would stop her. He was her big brother. He was her rock.

"What? Sorry. I was kind of in a daze." Alex replied distractedly.

He smiled. "I know."

"Justin…" she began. She turned and looked at him, and their eyes met. His were still smiling, kind, gentle, reliable.

"Yeah?"

"Well, have you ever felt…overwhelmed? Like…like the world is so big and your so small, and there's nothing that really matters?" Her voice was small, she sounded so vulnerable. Scared. Justin hated it.

"Alex…it's OK to feel overwhelmed. You've just been through something really…" he paused, swallowing, "really _horrific."_

He shifted in his seat, turning to look at her. He frowned, as she avoided his gaze, fiddling with her fingernails.

"No, I know, but I mean…like, you don't matter to the world?" She asked him again, struggling to verbalise what she meant, what she felt.

"Of course I have, Alex. I think everyone at some point wonders what they've got to give to the world, whether anyone actually cares about what they have to offer. You just have to realise that you might not be able to change the whole world, but if you can change someone's life, just matter to even one other person, then you've achieved something." Justin tried to explain, too. He knew what Alex was talking about. She felt worthless, pointless, unimportant. He had felt like that too, once, although admittedly under quite different circumstances.

"But what if you just feel like…" She paused. "Like your life is a total waste of time."

Justin didn't know what to say for a second. He wanted to shout it to her, to make her see sense, to make her see that she mattered to _him, _that she mattered _so damn much._

He took a deep breath. She was still staring intently at her fingernails, so he lifted her face towards his with a finger.

"Look at me, Alex. You are going to achieve so much in your life. You are capable of _anything. _You can't let this take that away from you, take your whole _life _away from you. You can't give him the satisfaction. Mom, Max, Dad, they love you so much. And I…I don't know what I'd do without you. Please, please realise that." Justin surprised himself with the words that were coming out of his mouth. He didn't realise he would speak so passionately, so truthfully. He hadn't even properly realised before that he _wouldn't _be able to live without her. She gave him a purpose, made him feel _needed. _

Alex looked up with tears in her eyes, smiling and almost-crying at the same time.

"Justin…I…" she didn't know what to say. And then, suddenly, she did. "I don't know how I would survive without you, either. I really need you. I don't know how I would have gotten through the past few days without you. Thank you."

He felt his heart swell, and he stretched out his arm despite the space-constraints of the plane, putting it around her and pulling her into his shoulder. She rested her head there, content for a while, and he was happy, too.

_**Hours Later.**_

"Do you want something to eat honey?" Theresa asked across the open-plan kitchen-cum-living room that made up the bulk of their loft.

She was cooking dinner, and Max eagerly ran up and sat on one of the stools around the island. "Yeah! I'm starving!"

Theresa laughed, passing him a plate full of food. "Not you, Maxie. Your sister. Alex, honey, you should probably try and eat something."

Alex was sat on the sofa, staring at the TV, not taking anything in. It felt extremely strange to be home. Everything felt different somehow, like she was a stranger there, like she couldn't quite get comfortable. She felt out of place, stiff, detached, and she didn't quite know why. She just felt so _different. _

"Umm…actually Mom, I think I'm gonna go lie down. I feel kind of tired, long journey and everything." Alex got up from the sofa and made a quick exit for her room. She heard her mom fussing behind her but chose to ignore her, she didn't want to eat anything and she didn't want to have to answer the question "Are you feeling OK?" for the hundredth time.

Alex felt something stirring in her stomach, something she couldn't quite put her finger on. She felt like she wanted to scream, or throw something or just….let it _out_.

She was tired of it, tired of her mom worrying constantly, tired of feeling so _wrong. _She had wanted to get home so badly, into her own surroundings, into familiarity, only for it to feel so horrible, like a reminder of happier times, times when she was her old self.

It took a photo, for her to break down.

As Alex walked into her room, she sat on her bed and absentmindedly glanced at the array of framed pictures on her nightstand. One of them was of her, and Harper, and some of their other friends from school. They were just goofing around in the park, but it made Alex's mind flash back so vividly to that day just a few months ago – the sun, the breeze, her laughter. She had been so innocent. Looking at her face, her smile, her shining eyes, she looked like a girl with everything to look forward to. Alex smiled wryly to herself, in a sick way enjoying being lost in a memory until, without warning, _his face_ crept into her mind and she was back there again, feeling him on her, his weight against her, just…_everything flooding back._

Her breathing hastened, she couldn't quite…no, she couldn't catch her breath. She felt like her throat was constricting, like the _room _was constricting. The photograph fell out of her hands and smashed onto the floor below, and she in turn slid off the bed until her back was against the side of it, her head in her hands, fists clenching tight. She just wanted it to stop, to stop remembering, to stop seeing his horrible grin and his glinting eyes and to stop feeling how her back _crunched _against the wooden shack behind her, the skin tearing, the bruises forming by the inch. She wanted to stop feeling him inside her – the worst of it all, how he took and took and took from her.

"_Stop, please, stop….stop it…stop…stop…" _her voice was a mantra, said through her teeth as she gasped for air. Somebody was touching her, grabbing her upper arms. She writhed violently, trying to hit out, when she finally heard them say her name and calmed, looking up, trying to make her eyes focus.

It was her brother. It was her Justin.

"Woah, woah, Alex. Calm down, calm down!" His voice was firm. He needed to get through to her before she hurt herself, or him. Her held onto her arms as tight as he could without bruising her, and she eventually stopped moving, looking at him with a slow recognition like she had just been somewhere else entirely. He guessed that place had been somewhere horrible.

"J-Justin?" Alex was out of breath, her voice terrified. She looked at her brother like he might not be real, like he might be some part of this "day-mare" too.

But Justin was real, so very real, and he shook his head sadly, angrily, hurting to see his sister like this, and he put a hand on her cheek softly, murmuring to her.

"It's me, Alex. It's Justin. I think you were – you are – having a panic attack or something. You have to try and calm down for me, OK? You're alright."

But Alex wouldn't calm down, she kept saying things over and over…"_He's here, Justin, I saw him, I felt him…on top of me…please help me, Justin!" _

_Fuck it. _Justin grabbed her under her arms and pulled her up, her legs like jelly, not supporting her body at all. He sat her on the bed, looking at her square-on.

"_Alex_. Listen to me. You're in your room, at home. That guy is not here, I will never let him near you again, I promise. Please, calm down, try and breathe."

Alex looked at him with her wild eyes full of tears now, becoming still and silent. For a second the two stared at each other, a silent moment of understanding, of recognition, before she started to sob, hard, fast, unrelenting. He hadn't seen her cry like this since she first came into the hotel room battered, bleeding, barely functioning, and he had caught her before she found the floor. He didn't know what to do but do what felt _right, _so he put his arms around her, letting her collapse into him, his hand on the back of her neck, holding her tight. He felt her tears, hot and wet on his thin t-shirt, and he just let her cry.

Eventually, Justin untangled her from himself, laying her down in the middle of her double bed and covering her up with a blanket. Her face was pale, eyes swollen and red, and she was doing that weird hiccupy, gaspy thing that you do when you've been sobbing for so long it becomes a reflex. Her hair stuck to her forehead in damp clumps and she curled up on her side putting one of her thumbs in her mouth. She looked like a tiny, petulant child, lying there like that.

She was still pretty out-of-it, so he went into the bathroom and got a washcloth, wetting it with cold water, and like a repeat of that surreal, bizarre moment when he gave her water, holding the bottle to her lips as she slipped into a drug-induced sedation, he pushed the damp hair from her eyes, wiping her forehead with the cool material, more caring than he had thought he was capable of being. He sat beside her, dabbing at her face, trying to make her just _breathe _again.

He sat there for god-knows-how-long. The washcloth, long abandoned, Alex alternating between lying there on her back silently staring at the ceiling, and lying there sleeping. He didn't say anything, because there was nothing he _could_ say. Over an hour passed, and Max came in, sat on the bed opposite Justin without a word, and took Alex's left hand. He smiled at Justin, his sweet, innocent grin, as if just holding his sister's hand was the most normal thing in the world.

Another hour later, and Theresa knocked on the door of her daughter's room, pushing the door open slowly. There was just a lamp on, casting a warm yellowish glow over the room, the room that was filled with all the familiar bits and bobs and pictures and nick-nacks that made it so indescribably Alex. And on the bed, were her three babies. Max, nearest the door, sleeping on his side facing inwards to Alex, holding her hand, his face peaceful, content, child-like. Alex was in the centre, asleep on her back, her pale skin glowing almost eerily, her features for once free of worry of stress or anything else that Theresa never wanted to see there again. And finally, on the other side of Alex was Justin, her big strong boy. He was sat up against the headboard, a frown resting on his eyebrows as he slept, his hand, like his brother's, wrapped around Alex's.

Theresa smiled, it would have been the perfect Kodak-moment if the circumstances hadn't been so…so _tragic. _She took it in for a second longer, before closing the door again. They had used to do this, sleep in the same bed, when they were little, when Max was barely out of a crib. For one night, they could be little again. Just for one night.


	11. Chapter 11

**_PLEASE REVIEW! x_**

Alex woke up in her room, alone. She looked around her, at the soft sunlight falling across the bed and the half-drawn curtains with the sights of New York beyond, glittering promisingly. She realised she was covered up with a blanket and when she looked over at the clock it read 9.30am. She had been asleep all night and no one had woken her? She was still in her sweats and t-shirt from the day before and it felt strange but she felt…contented. She didn't feel scared, or panicked, or any of the things she had been feeling whenever she woke up. But that had been when she slept in a hospital bed, uncomfortable and hard and not _home._

Now she _was_ home, and she felt, for some reason, so much better.

She could still taste in her mouth and feel by her slightly-stinging eyes that she had, a while ago, been crying, but she didn't feel like she wanted to cry right now. She felt a sort of strange release, and comfort, and realised she had fallen asleep with both of her brothers by her side, her hand in theirs. She smiled a little bit to herself, and sat up sleepily.

She had just finished cleaning up her face and sore eyes with a make-up wipe and pulling her thick hair into a ponytail when there was a knock at the door, and Justin popped his head round.

"Someone's here to see you, Alex." His voice sounded happy, but his face looked a tiny bit apprehensive. Alex frowned.

"Who?"

Then, with a barely-concealed squeal of "He-ey!" Harper squeezed past Justin and approached Alex. She looked so happy to see her, and she looked as if she might hug her but then she suddenly stopped, her expression changing. She looked more serious, and was decidedly un-Harperlike.

"Alex, I…Justin told me what happened. He thought you might want to tell me yourself but, well, he had to explain why you were back so soon. I just had to come see you, I _had _to. If you want me to go I-"

Harper was babbling, as usual. Alex shook her head, cutting her off before she could go any further. "Harper! It's OK. I'm so happy to see you."

Alex reached out and the two hugged, tight, smiling, taking each other in.

"I'm so glad you're OK. I thought…I thought…" Harper whispered to Alex, her voice nearly breaking.

Alex shh-ed her. "I'm alright. I'm going to be alright. Don't worry."

Justin smiled to himself, seeing how far his sister had come and feeling unexpectedly proud of her. "I'm gonna go grab some breakfast so I'll see you guys later." He left the room, closing the door behind him, still smiling.

Harper and Alex were sat on Alex's bed. They had been chatting idly for a few minutes about what had been going on in the city whilst the Russo's were gone, and other such unimportant gossip.

"It feels so good to just talk about normal stuff you know? Just feel normal?" Alex said earnestly, looking up at her best friend. Harper just nodded and smiled. She didn't really have a clue what Alex was on about, well, how could she possibly imagine? But she nodded anyway, smiling, happy that her friend was a coherent, fully-functioning, in-one-piece human being. She had been so afraid that she wouldn't be, of what she might find. Justin had sounded so _broken-up _on the phone…

"_Hey Harper."_

_"__Hey Justin! This is unexpected. Everything OK?"_

"_Well…not really. We're home. We came home. Something happened."_

"_What do you mean, something happened? Is everyone OK? Is it your parents?"_

"_Harper…Alex might not want me to tell you this but I thought you should know. Just don't tell anybody else, alright? No-one. I mean it."_

"_I won't…you know I won't. Justin…please, tell me. You've got me worried here!"_

"_Alex was… God; I don't really know how to put this. But…she was attacked Harper. One night here at the hotel. Someone…a man…he raped her."_

_There was silence. Five, six seconds. Seven. _

"_Justin. I want to come and see her. Please? Is she OK? Please tell me she's OK?"_

"_I don't know how OK she is but she's alive. She was hurt pretty bad. He was really, really brutal. Nearly broke her back. You should see the bruises…I'm sorry, I mean, yeah, you should come over. I'm sure she'd really love to see you."_

_Harper sounded like she was crying, sniffling softly down the phone. _

"_OK...um…I'll be right over."_

The light-hearted conversation came to a natural conclusion, and, giggling, the two girls looked at each other. Harper's smile faded, and she looked Alex in the eye. "What happened, Alex? I mean, you don't have to tell me. But I'm here if you do."

Alex opened her mouth, looked like she might say something, and then closed it again.

"I…I don't really want to talk about it. I had a big…well, I don't know _what _it was last night but there was a lot of crying and hysterics and I'm just exhausted, I'm exhausted by it all. I just…I'd prefer not to talk about it."

Harper nodded, and for a second or two there was an awkward silence between the two girls. "How about we go grab some breakfast with Justin? We can get him to make us waffles or something!" Harper changed the subject swiftly. She wanted to keep Alex's spirits up as best as she could, not ply her with questions.

"Yeah, sounds good. I'm starving. Let me just change. I've been in these clothes all night, kind of gross!" Alex giggled, and Harper laughed along.

Alex got up off the bed and went over to her dresser, pulling out a pair of pink leggings and an old sweater, and started to change in the corner. The two girls often just threw their clothes on in front of each other – it was no big deal, they were both girls and they were best friends – but Harper felt somehow more awkward, knowing what had happened to Alex, like she shouldn't be looking at her or something. She flicked through a magazine idly, not really paying attention to the pages, and when she heard Alex wince and looked up and saw that her friend, stood with her back to her, was pulling off the t-shirt she already had on and having trouble getting it over her head, she saw the horrible bruises on her slim back and wasn't surprised it hurt her to raise her arms up.

Harper didn't know what to do for a second, then she jumped up and pulled the t-shirt over Alex's head quickly. Alex held it to her front, covering herself up, but her back was still exposed.

"Oh, Alex…" Harper breathed, putting her fingertips with the lightest touch on Alex's back.

Alex lowered her head. "H-he…" she paused. Her voice was tiny, almost a whisper.

"He pushed me against this shed thing. It hurt my back. It's not so bad now. Just aches a little bit. It all aches."

Harper nodded silently. "You wanna talk about it?"

Alex didn't move, or say anything. They just stood there, Harper still stood behind, staring at the marks on her friend's body, the healed-over scrapes and scratches, the purplish mottling on the vertebrae that she could see poking through Alex's skin…she had lost weight, as if she needed to.

"I was at a party. I was drinking, not a lot, but enough to go off with him. I will never, ever forgive myself for that." Alex wiped away a single tear that dropped down her cheek.

Harper put her hands on Alex's shoulders and turned her round, pulling her close, and said softly "Nothing that happened is your fault, and you did not deserve what happened to you."

Alex pulled back, and nodded, wiping her eyes again with a small smile.

"I hope I can really believe that some day."

There was a stillness, a moment of understanding between the two girls, and Alex just knew that Harper would always be there to reassure her, to make her feel OK, and that when she was ready to start living again she would be right there waiting.

"Come on," Alex said. "Let's get Justin to make us some food."

Harper helped her to put her sweater on, and together they walked out of the room into the kitchen, both girls smiling.

And as they sat down, changing the TV channel from Cartoon Network to MTV, much to Max's chagrin, Alex felt a tiny spark of her old self ignite somewhere deep inside her. It was tiny, but it was _there_. And she was finally home.


	12. Chapter 12

I'm on a writing spree so I almost have the next couple of chapters ready to put up. Lots of reviews mean i'll put them up quicker!! ;) Just kidding. I'll put them up as soon as they are ready :) THANK YOU for reading, and reviewing. 101 REVIEWS WOO HOOOOOOOO. Anyway, thanks again. Esp. to those who review each chapter so faithfully. You rock, seriously.

Just an FYI, I'm not into "incest" between Justin and Alex, but that doesn't mean they can't have an unusually close relationship. There's a difference ;) x

PLEASE REVIEW.

enjoy:

"Alex, I just don't think it's a good idea for you to go back so soon."

"Mom, it's the first day of school. I _have _to go back, please. I'm going crazy in here."

Theresa sighed and put down the spoon she was stirring dinner with, going into the living room where her daughter was sat.

Sitting down next to her on the couch, she looked at Alex straight in the eye.

"Do you honestly think it's the best thing for you?"

"_Yes, _honestly, I do. I just want to get back to the old routine, not mope around in here bored all day. I want something to _do!"_

"OK. Well, if it's what you want I can't exactly stop you. Never thought I'd see the day when Alex Russo would _ask _to go to school!" Theresa laughed, and Alex smiled too.

"I know right. Miracles happen." She raised her eyebrows sarcastically, and Theresa laughed gently.

"But you do feel OK don't you? You've not been having any more… panic attacks? Your back feels alright? What about your face? You can still see the bruises a little, what will you say when people ask questions?" Theresa turned back to serious, _irritating_ Mom mode again.

"_Mom! _I'm alright, I feel OK. My back's fine now, just aches a little bit but it's nothing serious. And i'll just cover the bruises with makeup. No one has to know." Alex's tone was pleading; she was _desperate _to get her way with this one.

Theresa sighed wearily. "I'm so sorry this is how you're starting your Junior year. I wish it could be different for you baby. But you know I'm always here if you need me, right? And I'm so, so proud of how you're dealing with this."

"I love you Mom." Alex hugged her Mom tight, and Theresa kissed the top of her head.

"I love you too sweetheart. You're my brave girl."

****

The next few days passed in a blur of buying school supplies and sorting out clothes, schedules , shoes, bags, finding Max's specific light-up pen that he just _needed _for school and couldn't locate amongst the mess of his room, that sort of thing. And in the craziness, Alex felt almost like a normal girl, someone who was looking forward to going back to school and getting back into her routine, someone who had the next year to look forward to and her whole _life _to look forward to. Almost. But she still woke up in the night, in the dark, and felt herself struggle to breathe, struggle to focus on anything but the feeling of his hands on her body, his breath in her ear and the feeling of her spine crunching against the wooden sides of the shed.

She would lie there for a few minutes, trying to get her breath back, trying to swallow the lump in her throat, before drifting off into a strange, disjointed sleep again. She was exhausted, and terrified, but she was _not _going to tell anyone.

The night before school started was the worst of all. Everytime she closed her eyes she found herself back there, on the beach, the sound of the sea and his voice in her ears and the pain of him inside her coursing through her body in waves. Finally, with tears of frustration threatening to spill and her hands shaking violently, she got out of bed and crept across the hallway to Justin's room. She couldn't think of anywhere else to go, anything else to do, but find comfort in the safety of her brother, who had been there for her so many times and done so much more than she could have ever asked of him.

"Justin?" her voice was a loud whisper as she stood just inside his doorway. Justin stirred in his bed, rubbing his eyes and sitting up.

"Alex?" his voice was sleepy and confused, and she walked tentatively over to him and sat on the edge of his bed, her breath baited.

Justin turned his lamp on, squinting at the sudden brightness hitting his eyes. "What's wrong?" his voice was still full of confusion which Alex mistook for annoyance.

"I…um, it's OK…I'll go." Alex moved off the bed, her voice obviously distressed.

"No Alex, wait. You sound upset. What's wrong?" he said, his voice louder and clearer now. He reached out and managed to grab her hand, stopping her from leaving. She spun round and stared down at her brother for a second before sitting on the bed again, sighing.

"I can't sleep."

"Are you nervous about school?"

"Yes…well I mean, that's part of it. I just can't stop thinking about what happened, Justin. Every single time I close my eyes it's like I'm reliving it all over again. I'm sorry, I know you must be sick of hearing about this by now." Alex's voice was quiet, but not just because of the late hour. She sounded…defeated.

Justin closed his eyes, breathing out through his teeth. It _angered _him somehow, that Alex felt like this. It seemed these days that he was easily angered, and he knew it was because he saw the world differently now, now that someone had hurt his little sister, hurt his family so irreversibly and he could do nothing about it. He felt powerless, which in turn made him angry. And the fact that she thought he was "sick of it"…that killed him, it really did. She needed him, and he knew that, and he needed her, too. He _needed _to help her, to heal her, to be there when she cried, because he was terrified, so, so terrified of letting her slip away into the night again, and that this time, _next time, _she might not come back. Last time she came back broken and bruised and haunted, but one day, if he let her out of his sight, she might not come back at all.

And so they talked into the night, not caring that they had to be up in a few hours, Justin for once breaking his self-designated bedtime rule…he would be tired tomorrow, and so what? Somehow, school wasn't the most important thing in the world anymore.

She talked and talked, and it felt good for her to get her anxieties off her chest, and when she told him exactly how it felt when Javier (though she never used his name) first started flirting with her, how it felt _good, _how wrong she felt saying that, he reassured her that it wasn't wrong…it was normal, she was a teenager, she felt flattered by the attention, he abused that. He abused her.

And sometime after 2am the conversation turned to happier times, to reminiscence about when Max was born and toddler-Alex refused to look at him, swearing that she had a new baby sister, not brother. When they had first started magic lessons and Justin had been so hopeless. Magic didn't come up much these days, it seemed somehow painful for them to discuss it, knowing that it couldn't help them in the way they wanted. They talked about that, too. It was too far gone now for them to just turn back time, and Alex said she felt strange about it…as if magic was the cause of all this (Justin told her no – _Javier _was, but she shrugged it off and put it all back on herself as usual) and that magic couldn't just put it all back to how it was without there being some sort of catch, and she wasn't prepared to find out what that catch was.

And it was then the two of them fell quiet, struggling to keep their eyes open. Somewhere, deep down, Justin knew he shouldn't really be sharing a bed with his sister, not _really. _But it was different now, and she couldn't be alone.

Maybe, deep down, neither could he.


	13. Chapter 13

_please review! :D_

_x_

_**Take a deep breath as you walk through the doors; it's the morning of your very first day. You say hi to your friends you ain't seen in a while, try to stay out of everybody's way.**_

Alex had been in school for 3 hours, and she had already managed to suffer through an extra-long homeroom and a particularly mind-numbing Algebra session. School hadn't been so bad – she had been avoiding Mr Laritate, avoiding anybody but Harper and her brothers, to be honest, just to evade the inevitable "How was your summer Alex?" that she would never know how to answer.

She was quiet, unassuming, totally out of character and completely terrified that somebody would _find out. _

She felt like a phony, and that's why she was so scared. She felt like everybody was watching her, judging her, and she was hiding this secret from the world. If they found out, if the school found out, she would never be able to show her face again. She had no real explanation for why she was so adamant no one was to know, except for the fact that she felt it was _her _secret, her dirty little secret, and no body elses. She felt ashamed – ashamed of how it had happened, how she had been pathetically trying to prove something and how it had all backfired, ashamed of how she was dealing with it, ashamed of how she covered up her bruises with makeup so no-one would know.

Alex walked into English class with her head down, desperately trying to just get through her day. Harper wasn't in this class, and so as she sat down next a girl named Marissa who she sort-of kind-of used to be friends with last year, she smiled briefly and hoped that would suffice. But it didn't and she soon heard the bright "Hey Alex!" that came out of the girl's mouth.

"Hi!" Alex replied, fake cheerfulness pervading her voice and face. She couldn't help it, she just couldn't…she wasn't being fake nice, that wasn't it. She just couldn't let the girl know what was really going on inside her head.

"So how was your summer?"

It was _that _question. The one she had been trying to avoid for so long. She felt her heart rate quicken and her mind just went…blank.

_Breathe, Alex. Just breathe and tell her it was great. _

"It was great. You know, a little boring, but OK."

Alex breathed out, relieved. She turned and pretended to be busy with organising her books so that the conversation didn't have to do any further. She felt bad – Marissa was a cool girl – but she just couldn't keep this up for much longer.

The lesson dragged on for another few minutes, the teacher babbling on about a new semester, a new start, and the irony wasn't lost on Alex. She started to switch off when the teacher started a new topic of speech. Alex sat up. _Not again._

"So, we're going to pretend like we're in first grade and write about how our summer's went! Except I want you to put it into poetry form. Be creative, I want to see imagery – metaphors, rhyming, be imaginitive with the layout. Let's get a few ideas going….Alex Russo, what did _you _do over the summer?"

The teacher's face was expectant, her eyebrows raised, waiting for Alex's answer.

Alex tried to keep it together, the way she had just done with her friend. She felt her breathing get shallower and her pulse start to pound in her ears and the all-to-familiar panic rise and rise in her chest, starting to take her over.

_No, No….please, not here, not now. Just keep control of yourself. Just stay calm._

Alex tried, she really did, to stay composed and reel off something about a family vacation and working in the sandwich shop. "I-I…" she started, stammering the word out. But it wasn't enough, and before she knew it she felt like the whole room was spinning and she stood up too quickly, making herself stumble and knock her books onto the floor. She looked around at the some-amused, some-confused faces of her classmates and ran out of the door into the corridor, heading for the girl's bathroom. She heard her teacher yell her name after her but she ignored it, sprinting down the deserted corridor and into a stall in the bathroom. She locked the door, sliding down the other side of it to the floor, and put her head in her hands.

Alex stayed there for a few minutes, just trying to get her head to stop spinning and her heart to slow down. She thought she might throw up but somehow she kept it together and after a while, she felt OK again. She was sick of this, sick of this nervous, anxious, panicking girl who couldn't even face a simple question of "How was your summer?"

But how _would _she tell the truth? She could barely admit it to herself, never mind her English class. No-one at school could ever know, and that was that.

Alex got her phone out of her pocket and sent Harper a quick text.

_Pls come into the bathroom on the main corridor. I need to speak to u. A xx_

A few more minutes passed and Alex wondered whether Harper would have the guts to leave class to come and see her, but she was surprised when she heard the door of the bathroom creak open and heard her friend's voice, inquisitive and worried.

"Alex? Are you in here?"

Alex let her into the stall and the two girls sat side by side, huddled together. Alex told Harper about what had happened and Harper looked sadly at Alex, murmuring "I'm sorry." There was nothing else for her to really say, and so the two of them just sat there. Harper asked whether she had, or was going to let her teachers know what had happened over the summer just so they knew, and could cut her some slack, but Alex shook her head fiercely. No-one was to know.

After what seemed like hours (but was really about thirty minutes) sat squashed in that bathroom stall the bell rang for lunch and some girls came and went. After a brief silence, two more girls walked in, and Alex recognised their voices - they were girls from her English lesson.

"Alex Russo is so weird. I mean, what is with that running out of class thing?"

"You know, I heard something about her."

Alex froze. She looked, wide-eyed, at Harper, who looked almost as shocked as she did. They couldn't…? Surely not?

"Yeah, well my mom knows her mom and she said they came home from their big family trip like a week early, and you know why?"

"Why?"

"Well, don't say anything but like, I heard, and it's just rumour, that she was like, attacked or something."

"What do you mean, attacked?"

"Like, you know…_raped." _

The girl's voice was low when she said that final word. Like she couldn't really bring herself to say it.

Alex couldn't breathe. _How could she possibly know that? _

Her mind was reeling, and she could only think one thing – that Harper had told.

She waited until the girls had finished applying their lipgloss and staring at themselves in the mirror and left the room before she staggered unsteadily to her feet, her hands shaking with anger.

"How could you?! How could you tell?!!" she yelled, unlocking the door and opening it practically _on _Harper, forcing her to jump up and move or be squished.

"Hey, Alex! Watch out!"

Alex ignored her, backing out of the swing door of the room into the corridor, looking at Harper with tears and hatred in her eyes. Harper was astounded – how could Alex think that she had betrayed her?

Alex shook her head, tears falling down her face now. "Don't talk to me _ever again."_

Harper could only stand and gape, open mouthed, as she watched Alex run down the corridor and out of the double doors at the end on to the street, and into the city.

She knew one thing – she had to find Justin, before Alex did something stupid.


	14. Chapter 14

_This chapter is a bit dramatic. Ha. Thank you so much for all your reviews!!!_

_Please continue reviewing._

_x_

Alex's mind was a fuzz of red, of anger and confusion. People _knew. _It was her worst nightmare, it was exactly what she _didn't _want to happen. The whole school would think of her as this…this pathetic victim, or even worse, as that girl who told everyone she'd been raped when she clearly just wanted attention. She remembered those bitchy, self-centred girls' voices…

"_Yeah like, I heard she was like, attacked or something!"_

Yeah, like it was no big deal. Or worse, just another piece of scandalous gossip to keep the masses entertained for a few days.

Alex didn't really, deep down, believe that it was Harper who had let her secret slip. She didn't know _what _to think. But that didn't make things any easier.

Nobody was in the loft. She went in through another entrance, so her parents wouldn't see her skipping school. She didn't even notice where she was going, her mind was racing, angry, she felt her gut twisting in frustration. Her heart was pounding ridiculously fast inside her chest, as if it were urging her on.

When she got to her room, she slammed the door behind her, hard, and stood there for a second. In that moment of stillness, it was as though something inside her just…just _snapped. _

Looking at her dresser, filled with photos and all the usual girlie stuff - makeup, perfume, crappy plastic bracelets she and Harper had made together…it all made her so _angry. _It was like her life was filled with disposable, glittery goodness and she was a fake, the wrong girl in the wrong house. Everything just _annoyed_ her, made her want to throw it and trash it and just get rid of every trace of that pointless girl that had seemed to have lived here before.

Stupid fucking school, stupid girls, stupid _everyone. _

An impulse ran through her body, from her toes to the top of her head, and she suddenly, without thinking, grabbed anything she could get her hands on and launched them across the room. A cute heart shaped bottle of perfume, a packet of markers, a handful of jewellery, a mug Harper had painted for her…

She stopped, as if she was shocked at what she had done. She glanced around at the mess she had made and all at once it didn't seem like _enough. _

So she grabbed a photo of herself, Max and Justin, her _favourite photo, _and threw it, as hard as she could, at the wall opposite. It smashed into thousands of tiny pieces, the photo below creepily unchanged despite the little shards of glass covering the faces of the three smiling kids below. She was breathing hard, fast, that type of breathing she gets when she feels like she's gonna lose control and…and her heart is racing and before she knows it she just _screams _and grabs the lamp in front of her and smacks it on the wall, breaking the dangly glass shade everywhere and all over her feet, crunching below them as she takes a few steps back, the broken stem of the lamp in her hand like some sort of weapon.

Alex sunk to the floor, digging her nails into her palms in the usual way she does when there is just too much emotion in her body and too much pain and she just wants it to _go _somewhere. Except this time, it wasn't enough. Alex's mind was devoid of anything logical, anything sensical, all she could think of was the anger and hurt and desperation coursing through her veins, so she reached out, scrabbling on the shiny wooden floor and finding a long, sharp sliver of glass.

And she felt calm as she did it. She didn't even wince when she dragged the sharp, pointy tip through the soft white flesh of her arm. It wasn't her wrist – maybe, subconciously, she didn't want to _die_ – but she cut a good couple of inches along on the inside of her limb, just down from her elbow. As she watched the blood begin to pool in the dark red gap, she just stared and stared and stared at it, in amazement, in horror, before the blank, angry fog descended again and she went in for another go, this time lower down, this time with more force, more determination.

"Alex! Alex, _no!" _It was, _who else… _Justin.

She was too shocked to ignore him and carry on, she just sat there, looking up at him with her big eyes, her mouth open. He stared down at her arm, silent, seething.

"What the _hell _do you think you're doing?!" his voice was angry. It scared her. She swallowed hard, not putting the glass down, just staring up at him, not knowing what she should say, whether she could say anything at all.

"Oh…oh my god." His voice softened as he saw fully the blood dripping from her arm, where it has fallen on the floor below. He slowly approached her, his hands out in front of him. He bent down to her level, she was still looking at him, just looking right at him with a horrible expression of fear mixed with disbelief mixed with confusion.

He didn't say anything else, just gently took the glass from her hand. She glanced down then, staring at the floor, at her blood, feeling tears build up behind her eyes.

"Oh, Alex." He whispered. "What have you done?"

She shook her head. "I didn't…I didn't mean to…" then her shoulders shook too, and she started crying softly, painfully.

He couldn't stand it anymore, couldn't stand to be watching his little sister cry and bleed, not _again. _He guessed he wouldn't be able to get any sense out of her, the blood still dripped from her arm and from her hand where she had gripped the sharp implement so tightly it had cut into her palm, so he just reached out and slowly, cautiously unclamped her fingers from it and put it behind him on the bed. He would deal with it later.

"It's going to be alright. Just listen to me, we have to apply pressure and stop the have to just let me help you, otherwise I'm gonna have to take you to the hospital."

"No! No, please, I can't go to the hospital, don' make me, Justin, _please." _Alex's voice was desperate.

Justin swallowed hard, preparing himself. He could deal with Alex's panics and her sobbing and the way she needed to hold onto him when she cried, but this was something entirely new. He knew she was struggling, he knew she was scared about school and he _knew _how badly she still hurt inside. He didn't know she wanted to _hurt _herself. If he hadn't come in, how far would it have gone? Would she…would she have (and it pained him to even think this) _killed _herself?

No, no. He told himself this was just a cry for help, just a form of relief, and he briefly looked her over, evaluating her state. She looked weak and pale and there was a _lot _of blood running down her arm. The cut was kind of deep. Not to mention she had slashed the palm of her hand just by holding the glass. He took a deep breath and and pulled her up from the floor until he was supporting her, his arm round her back tightly. He realised it would probably be quicker and simpler to just _carry _her to the bathroom, so he scooped her up and realised how easy it was to do so – she was getting thinner. She felt _tiny _in his arms, like a little girl.

Reaching the bathroom, he set her down gently on the floor and worked fast, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around her arm tightly, squeezing it to apply pressure.

"Just keep pressing down, Alex, OK? Can you do that for me?"

Alex nodded, her face pale, eyes wide, horrified at what she had done.

"It's going to be alright. I'm going to fix it." Justin's words were more to himself that to Alex. He didn't know if he could fix her this time.

_A little while later._

Their mother and father were still downstairs working hard, and Max was at some after-school activity. Alex and Justin were still in the bathroom.

Alex's arm had started to hurt her, to really hurt her. Justin had "fed" her 3 tylenol and hoped it would knock her out for a while. She was acting strangely, not herself, not any semblance of herself, and this was _before _the pills.

She was quiet – she had hardly said anything since he had found her, apart from insisting time and time again that she could not and would not go to the hospital, and that Justin was not to tell their mom and dad about this.

He tried to reassure her, tried to make her talk to him, tried to tell her she would be OK, but she was so seemingly _out of it _that his words barely reached her ears.

And as he carefully, so carefully, wiped the blood away from her wounds and finished wrapping a bandage around her arm, he all-of-a-sudden felt a sense of utter despair, because she had finally, _finally _beenmaking progress and now she was back to the petrified, angry, silent girl who he could only hold and whisper reassurances to in the vain hopes of making it all better.

He would clean her room up later, before Jerry and Theresa came back up, but after Max arrived home – so he could watch her – there was _no way _Justin was going to leave her on her own, not after this. He didn't think he could stand a _third _time of watching his little sister bleed and cry with pain – even if this one had been self-inflicted.

For now, the two of them sat, silent upon the floor amongst the bloodied towels and empty boxes of band-aids and screwed-up tissue paper streaked with red, and he let her crawl into his lap, his back against the bathtub and her small body curled up on his outstretched legs, her head resting on his shoulder. He put his arms around her and sort of stroked her hair, and they just stayed like that for a little while.

And then she whispered _"I could never leave you. I would never kill myself. I could never leave you."_

And he closed his eyes, and let a tear escape. Just one. Because he had come so close to losing her too many times – and now, he was out to get his vengeance.


	15. Chapter 15

**oh my gosshh. I am so so so so sorry this is so LATE. I mean REALLY. Please don't hate me. I've just been SO busy with homework, acting, EVERYTHING. I truly hope you are all still even interested in this story. I'm sorry if it's been too long. Please forgive me! And enjoy the chapter. I promise the next one will be up in a couple of days.**

**THANKS SO MUCH FOR READING. And PLEASE, PLEASE _REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW. _**

Justin stood in the lair, his hands clenched at his sides, gripping his wand so hard it was surprising it hadn't snapped. It was evening – around 7pm – but the day had slipped away into timelessness since he had found Alex in her room that afternoon.

He had waited for her to calm down, to stop crying and stop shaking with the pain of the cuts she had inflicted on herself, before taking her to his room and wordlessly lying her on his bed, calling Max in to sit with her whilst he went about cleaning up the glass and blood and mess she had made in her own bedroom in the fit of rage that had caused her to slice her arm open and left her bleeding and sobbing on the wooden floor. He didn't tell Max much, just that he had to watch her whilst he cleaned up, and Max didn't ask any questions. Alex, well, she had just lain there silently, staring at nothing, retreating back into herself as if they had been transported back in time and Justin was back in that foreign hospital, watching Alex go through hell in her own head, her eyes telling everything her voice could not.

She had just really, really wanted to keep this whole mess a secret – she hadn't wanted _anybody _to know what had happened to her because she so afraid of the way they would treat her if they knew. She wanted nothing more than to go back to normal, but that would never be possible, especially now there were certain _rumors _going round about her, rumors people exchanged with such flippancy and offhandedness that it made her want to scream. She felt even more used, even more like a piece of flesh that was being torn apart for the gratification of others. She hated it.

Justin's thoughts were a swirling cloud of anger and venom and hatred. He had had _enough _of what this bastard had done to his sister, as if that one night when he took everything from her and left her crying in the sand wasn't enough, her life was a nightmare on a daily basis because of what she had to remember, and she had no closure, none of them did. Nothing to say that he had been punished for his evil, nothing to say that he could never hurt her again, nothing…and Justin

was going to change that. Right now.

Reciting a spell under his breath, Justin flicked his wand and was suddenly surrounded by a flash of bright light, his feet leaving the ground and his head spinning queazily. He had just done a powerful spell, something he knew he shouldn't be doing and something his father would _not _be happy about. But he didn't care, and it only briefly bothered him that he was being totally out of character. Maybe he liked this new Justin. Maybe he was growing up and doing what he had to do. Fuck the rules.

After what seemed like hours, he felt his feet touch the ground and looked around him. It was night time, and he could hear the rush of the ocean. He turned, rubbing his eyes, and saw just who he was looking for. Javier.

He was stood in a beach-hut type of building, behind some sort of desk. Justin surmised that it must be a kind of office, and without thinking, he strode over there, wand poised and, if he could have seen himself at that moment, he would not have recognised the look of aggression and rage on his face. Inside, he felt strangely calm. He believed in his own power, his own strength, and was fuelled by the love and protectiveness he felt for his sister. He breathed deeply, and without warning, entered the office and closed the door behind him silently. Javier was facing away from him, filing some papers or something, not that Justin noticed or cared. Justin stood there for a second, allowing the possibility of what he could _do _right now sink in and fill his head with dark, dark thoughts that he hadn't thought he was capable of thinking. Oh, he _was_ capable. In so many ways.

Justin raised his wand, Javier still unaware of his presence, and said aloud a spell, this time less powerful than before, but one which still sent green sparks tumbling through the air and caused Javier to spin round as Justin opened his mouth, confusion etched on his face. As soon Justin finished the spell, the results were instantanious. Javier went to move, to walk towards Justin, but found himself immobile. Totally, utterly incapable of moving.

"Wh…what is this? Who are you? What's going on?" Javier's voice was just laden with confusion. Justin laughed lightly.

"I think you know who I am." He said, stepping forward to his "prey", his face coming into the light. "You raped my little sister last month."

"Woah, buddy, I don't know what you're-" Javier sounded nervous. Justin was glad.

Cutting him off, Justin spoke louder this time. "I think you do know what I'm talking about. And _don't _call me buddy."

Coming closer to the frozen body of Javier, Justin looked at his wand, laughing to himself. "You know, I could do anything I wanted to you. I could kill you right now if I wanted."

Javier frowned. "What _is _this? How did you do this? What are you?"

"I have more power than you will ever know, or have for that matter." Justin replied offhandedly.

"But I don't understand…how did you do this? Some sort of trick?" Javier was growing more and more irritated, worried, nervous.

"It doesn't matter. What does matter is the fact that you…you're _sick." _Justin practically spat the words out, right in Javier's face.

"Come on, your sister just didn't know how to _relax." _Javier said, and with that Justin promptly punched him in the face.

"You sick bastard! How could you do that to her? You know she's only 16 years old, right? You know she came back to our hotel room _half dead? _Covered in blood? Do you have _any idea_ what you did?"

Javier was still reeling from the right hook his perfect jawline had received moments earlier. His face was ashen, his earlier arrogant nervousness replaced with fear.

"That's right, you heartless prick. I hope you feel scared. I want you to feel what you made my sister feel…like you're going to _die, _like your life is a nightmare. She's going through hell because of you! I don't even know how you could do that. Just because she didn't want to have sex with you you had to beat her up and hold her down? Did it make you feel like a big man, huh? Did it make you feel powerful?"

Justin jabbed Javier in the ribs with his wand and made him shiver with fear, his eyes growing wide and terriried. "Y-yes. It did, it did. Please, don't hurt me."

He had cracked, and Justin laughed. It hadn't taken much.

"I bet that's what she said, wasn't it? _Don't hurt me. _But you did anyway, didn't you, you motherfucking child rapist. I bet you loved it when she cried. You're _disgusting."_

Justin turned and walked away, letting Javier breath easy for a second. But then Justin suddenly wheeled around and back-handed him across the face, making his lip bleed. He had no idea where this strength was coming from. It helped that Javier couldn't fight back.

Meanwhile, back in New York City, Alex woke up in Justin's bedroom, disorientated from a bad dream. She felt…strange. Like she had to do something, like something was wrong.

"Max. Max!" She sat up, calling out to her little brother who was sat on a chair across the room, dozing. Typical.

Max woke up with a start. "Alex? Are you OK? Justin told me to watch you. But he didn't come back."

"Max, something's up, I can just feel it or something. I don't know. But we have to get Justin. Where is he?"

Max walked over to the bed. "He went to the lair like an hour ago. Mom and Dad are downstairs in the sub station. Mom came up before to check on us, but I just told them Justin was doing homework and you were asleep. I think…"

"He's up to something." Alex finished his sentence.

"What did you do to your arm?" Max asked, looking down at the white bandage covering most of her lower arm, and the band-aids on her right hand.

Alex was taken aback, and she frowned, pulling the sleeve of her hoodie down carefully over the bandage. "It's nothing. I'll tell you later. Come on."

The two made their way into the lair. As she had half-expected, Justin wasn't there, and she tried to put the aching feeling that he had done something really stupid out of her mind.

Alex looked around a little, trying to figure out where Justin might have gone. Then Max called out to her, and the two of them studied the book that he had found. It was open on a page for transportation spells.

"Where do you think he's gone?" Max asked.

Alex had an inkling that this had something to do with _him. _Justin had been scared by what she had done that afternoon, she had been selfish and hurt herself and it had worried him beyond belief. He wanted retribution, she knew that much, and perhaps this had driven him far enough over the edge to finally seek it. She took Max's hand, imploringly looking at him. "We have to go to Justin. Before he does something really bad."

"Like _what? _Alex, you're making no sense!" Max was confused. His sister was acting crazy. Maybe she had finally _gone _crazy. It kind of wouldn't surprise him. He had heard her screaming once, in her room, in the night. It had made him really sad, and angry, and he didn't really know why. He had thought maybe, just maybe, she had lost a little bit of her mind. He was probably right.

"Look, my power alone isn't enough for this. I need you, Max. We have to get to Justin before…before it's too late!"

So, with both of their wands poised and their hands locked together, the two of them recited the same spell that Justin had recited earlier, only saying the name of their brother in place of where Justin had said _Javier, _and were surrounded by the same bright light and the same dizzy spinning, eventually landing on solid ground, hands still interlocked, wands still at the ready.

Except they weren't on the beach, like Justin had been. They were in a little office-type room, and in front of them was Justin, his face ash grey and his eyes shining with hate, almost unrecognizable.

And Alex stared _right_ into the eyes of the one person she despised the most. And he stared straight back.

"What are you doing here?" Justin asked angrily, facing his siblings.

Alex opened her mouth but no words came out. She couldn't breathe. The room spun. It spun some more. And then it went black.

"_Alex!"_


	16. Chapter 16

_Oh. My. Gosh. Yes, I'm back and I'm so sorry, I don't know why I haven't been updating, there are really no excuses and all I can say is that if you're still reading this then please, please, please let me know and I'll make the effort to write more. Please review, if you're still following you're an angel and I love you. REVIEW._

_Ps: if you could all please let me know of where you want this story to go – how do you want it to end etc. I have a few ideas but I would love your input. I'm happy to write whatever you guys want. _

_Pps: REVIEW!_

Justin was standing over his sister, his face all at once confused, concerned, angry, everything that was going on in his head at that very moment screamed at him to help her, but he just couldn't even fathom how or why she, and Max, were there.

Alex was laid on the floor, her body twisted in the position that she landed in. He had been so taken aback by her arrival, by everything around him, that he hadn't even noticed she was falling until it was too late. He had called her name out, rushing to her side, but she still hit the floor with such force he had no doubt she was unconscious. She'd fainted.

Max had seen his sister collapse too, but his face was too transfixed on the man pinned against the wall, the pain and fear in his eyes, and something clicked in his head – he knew _exactly _what Justin was doing. This man (although that didn't seem like the right word for such a monster) was the one who had raped his sister. Raped her…he hated to think it, to say it, it seemed like something that he would never have to come across, it made it seem like Alex was ruined. His body suddenly burned with an anger he had never felt before – before, it had just been a vague feeling of unfairness coupled with a total lack of knowing what he could possibly say to Alex anymore, whether he could treat her normally or not, whether the girl screaming in the night and sobbing uncontrollably in the bathroom before school was really his sister or some sort of imposter. But now he knew what to do, he felt grown up and more ready than he had ever been. He wanted _his _revenge, not just for his sister, but for the people they had all been before this happened, before they were all slightly damaged, before he had woken up one night on their dream vacation to see his big sister crying on the floor, blood running down her legs from somewhere he didn't want to think about.

But Justin snapped him out of it, calling his name, bending down to Alex with that love and compassion that seemed to pour out of him when she needed him most.

"Alex, come on, wake up" he said, stroking her hair out of her face. Max knelt beside her, shaking her arm gently, "Please, Alex, come on".

She came round, slowly, her eyes trying to focus. "Justin?"

For a second, she had no idea where she was, what was happening, and she panicked, the instant reaction of fear that she always seemed to have these days came into play and she looked around her, trying to figure out what was going on. Justin was with her in a split second, his hand on the side of her head gently, reassuring her, telling her was there. She calmed down, breathed again. She was fine. She was fine.

Justin helped her up, she said her back was a little sore from falling, but she felt OK. He told her to sit down, but she insisted…_she was fine. _It was only when she saw Javier again that she remembered why she was there, why all of this was happening, and a flash of a moonlit beach, the smell of the ocean, the feeling of his hands on her and the pain tearing through her body, came rushing into her mind without warning.

"Oh, god. I can't…I really can't…" she trailed off, turning and covering her face with her hands.

"Alex, you wanted it, don't tell me you didn't want it! Hey, your sister's a little slut!" Javier yelled from his position locked against the wall. Alex didn't move, refusing to look, but before Justin could even retaliate, Max flew at Javier, grabbing his neck, punching him in the chest. He had never acted like this before, never lost his temper, never even hit anyone. Justin was horrified – he had never wanted to drag Max into this, he was only 14, he was so young. In a way, Max had lost his innocence along with Alex that night, and Justin, powerless in getting back any semblance of childhood for Alex, wanted to keep his brother away from as many bad things as he possibly could. It was stupid, but he felt like it was his responsibility. "Max, no!" Justin pulled his brother off, holding his shoulders firmly. "I don't want you getting involved with all this, Max. You shouldn't have to see all this! Please, just take care of Alex, let me handle this."

Reluctantly, Max stepped back, going over to Alex and starting to lead her out onto the beach. But before they had taken more than a few steps, Alex stopped abruptly.

"Alex? What are you…?" Max questioned his sister, but she walked past him, right up to Justin.

"Justin stop, stop whatever you're doing." Alex's voice was calm, collected. Justin was taken aback, looking at his sister with wide eyes. "What are you doing?"

"There's a few things I need to say."

Justin, still confused, stepped back, seeing the fear in Alex's eyes as she looked upon the man that took so much from her, but saw a new found strength, the way she held herself, the way she was obviously scared but was looking past it, reaching deep down somewhere inside her and finding something he didn't know she had.

Alex swallowed hard, then looked up, right into Javier's dark eyes. And then she spoke.

"I've had nightmares about the day I would see your face again, replaying what you did over and over in my head, wondering what I would do, what I would say, whether I would be able to even say anything. But now you're in front of me, I really just don't feel a thing. I look at you and all I see is someone who's sick and pathetic, you don't scare me anymore. And do you want to know why? Because you tried to ruin me, you tried to take away my trust and my dignity, and there were times when I was lay in that hospital after it happened, and after I got home, when I just wanted to curl up and disappear forever, but I will _not _let you destroy me. You might have been able to do what you wanted to me that night on the beach, but I won't let you dictate what's going to happen for the rest of my life, and I certainly won't let my brothers risk their lives trying to get even because you're not even nearly worthy of their attention. You're just a lowlife piece of trash, and I hope you live to regret what you did to me for the rest of your sorry ass life."

Javier was stunned. He opened his mouth to reply, but nothing came out, and he stayed there, his eyes still wide with shock and fear, as Alex turned to her brothers. "Come on, guys. You don't have to do this. Let's go home."

The feeling of relief that was descending on her was amazing – it was like she had needed to do this to move on, to move forwards, and now she had done it she could start to pack away the part of her life where she lived in fear and anger, and start to rebuild herself. Maybe she wasn't going to be the same as before, how could she be? But she was going to take the parts of this new Alex – the strength, the newfound grace – and put them into the parts of the old Alex that were left, and maybe what came out would be better than it ever was.

Despite the feelings of immense pride he had for his sister, Justin was still torn between the revenge he wanted so badly to get and the feeling that his sister was right, that if this should be on anyone's terms it should be on hers, so he stepped back, putting his arm round Alex' shoulders and a hand on Max's. He wouldn't go against her will, he couldn't, and she was right after all, why should he risk his powers, his safety, for the sake of _him. _

"Let's go guys. He's not worth it."


	17. Chapter 17

Hi, this is just a very short Alex POV chapter, sorry if it disappoints, I just felt it was necessary for it to be a chapter of it's own before the rest of the story continues into the "home straight" and towards the finish line. I need 9 more reviews to reach two hundred and I would love to get that before I write the next chapter so help me out people! HAHA! Anyway thanks soooo much those who are still reading and reviewing and everything, you're all aweeesooome x

(REVIEW.)

Alex Russo stood still, stiller than the humid air around her, breathing in the scent of the sea, remembering.

The scene before her was breathtaking, like something from a movie, or a postcard: white sand shimmering underneath a full moon hanging low over the horizon, the clear ocean lapping the shore, the sky so black and full of stars that it looked almost unreal.

But all she could feel was pain, and shame, and anger.

She hated the way the feeling of the sand beneath her feet instantly reminded her of how it ground into her soles as she struggled, barefoot and helpless. She hated the way the smell of the sand and the hot air brought back the taste in her mouth of blood and desperation as she fought for breath through her tears. And she despised how one perfect night on this perfect beach which could have turned out so differently had turned into a nightmare, a living hell, one which she was struggling to find her way back from.

Physically, her scars had almost healed. The bruises had faded, the cuts had scabbed over and then gone away, and the pain and damage he had done to her internally would disappear in time. It had barely been a month between then and now, not even a month since early August when a family had arrived here eager for their dream vacation and left, shell-shocked and reeling, with a broken child they couldn't fix.

Alex took another deep breath in. She _could _be mended. She _wanted _to be mended. She had to fix herself, because no one could do it for her, not even her brother, her amazing, understanding Justin, who had most definitely played his part (And was still doing so) in helping her, holding her, drying her tears…hell, he had probably stopped her from losing her mind. But it was up to her to move past it, to move past _him_, that coward they'd had pinned against the wall, shaking and terrified, and she decided then and there she was going to do just that.

So she walked forwards into the ocean, the bottom of her jeans getting soaked with the salty, clear water, travelling upwards, purifying her, filling her with cold, pristine clarity. She carried on, until it reached her waist, the water cool, clearing her mind until she could see what she needed to see. She stopped walking, and she let the silence of the air and the rhythm of the ocean take her over for a second. The lack of noise filled her ears before she let out a yell, a scream, a shout, whatever you want to call it. A cry of freedom. And then, Alex laughed, a real laugh, for the first time in ages, and she skimmed the water playfully with her fingertips, sending droplets splashing everywhere.

She was free, at last.


End file.
